Thursday, October 04, 2007

Personal Space

People, people, everywhere!!!

You are never really alone. Not in an indian village. There is no concept of "personal space". Actually, the Ye'kwana language does not even have a true translation for "privacy" or "being alone" as a positive thing. The translation is a negative, like "lonely". Something sad. Something to be avoided. Something dangerous, as being alone is an invitation to the evil spirits to come and attack you. Especially "Canaima"(the death angel) who flies around at night, looking for some poor soul who is alone. Canaima will set in and give that person a beating and death within 3 days. That is why no one would ever think of walking around the jungle alone, even to go down the path to the river alone is risky.

I share all of this, so that you can understand how different the culture is in regards to privacy. We had NO privacy. Our home was always open, and often full of people. We even had indians standing around looking in our windows most of the time. Especially at night. Our house had large windows to afford us with light and cross ventilation. But with our lights on at night, we were watched by the entire tribe. We were their entertainment, " Live, in Technicolor and Surround Sound". Even in the house, under the palm roof, with no inside ceilings, what was said in one room was heard through out the entire house.

Being very aware that our entire lives were under scrutiny, we had to discipline ourselves at every moment. Even when speaking English or Spanish, our body language, facial expressions, and reactions were all being watched. They wanted to see how a christian re-acted to things, we needed to show them patience, love, gentleness...self control. Christ in us.

My husband and I learned to not show our irritation with each other in public, and we were always "in public". If an issue came up that absolutely had to be "discussed" in private, that meant, going to the river, getting in a canoe, paddling for 10 to 15 minutes to get out of hearing range from the village, in order to have a private discussion.

Frankly, not many things are worth that effort!!! By the time you get done paddling, you don't have the energy to argue. Or it no longer seems important enough, you may even forget what had annoyed you to begin with, or, you find yourself alone and don't want to waste that precious privacy in anger!!!

I think every married couple ought to buy a couple of rowing machines and make a rule that before responding to one another in anger, you both have to row for 15 minutes!!!!


Amanda said...

What a good word about arguing. I need to remember that.

Pat said...

We thought there was a lack of privacy with five kids!! You surely had it worse!

Such self restraint....I admire that.....and you had to leave your home to get a private word in!!

I am sure they (the Indians) saw a loving family!

redneck preacher said...

It is a very good idea, rowing for fifteen minutes to have an arguement. I don't think the rowing machine would work though. Where would you hang the clothes that are on it?

I am sure that someone has already done it but I do not know of one. Write a book with chapters such as.
Bugs and kids, encouraging the Peeping Tom, Eating without ketchup.



Amity said...

Wow, that had to be quite the challenge!!! I am not sure how well I would have done, LOL.

Ashley said...

HAHA wow! Never heard that story before! And I thought I had no privacy! JK! but you felt like an aquariam though huh? That must've been very different...Irk I'm such a klutz. I'm not too sure on how cool I'd be bout people watching me. I'd be like a comedy. O.o

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Happymama said...

LOL, I'm picturing the two of you in a canoe whacking each other over the head with paddles. LOL


Pam said...

Cute ending to this post Rita!! I think you are having quite enough privacy today and for the next couple days with everyone gone!! Enjoy!

jennifer said...

Now that is great advice!

Brenda said...

I hear you on the privacy issue, not much of it here either. My husband is going away for a month and I would LOVE to have a month by myself, alone. But no one here will hear of it. Someone HAS to stay with me, its just how its done. So I will pick a very busy person to stay with me so I can still have some moments alone ;)

Charles said...

This should be a requirement everywhere. Marriage 101.

See here is another thing that is better in the Jungle.

Rebecca said...

Yikes! We'd never make it.

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