The Theory of Devolution

As hypothesized by my son, Joshua. Joshua spent two years in the dorms and was the R.A. He was married this summer and sent the following words of advice to his friend who is now the R.A. of the dorm.

Yeah dorm life is , how do I say this correctly. OK here we go, I think that since so many people were bothered by the whole water boarding issue that instead ,these terrorist, war criminals should live in dorm rooms with American 18year olds which tend to be at the same IQ level as the Gold fish Version of Forest Gump. I must admit that the dorm convinced me of Devolution. I fear that in maybe two generations we will revert back to ape like status and eventual turning into some form of primordial ooze, we see early signs of this in Micheal Moore.

One need only to smell the toxic fumes emitted from a boys dorm to know that the male body is devolving at a more rapid pace, at least physically. We are not sure how bad the young girls are devolving since Plaster of Paris and other forms of makeup are skewing our scientific research.

I could not let myself be contaminated by this dreadful process and escaped, for a piece of heaven on Earth called marriage. I will say this ,friend, you have found one of the non devolved women on the planet! A rarity whose price is far above rubies, it will get better very soon.

So I say this in closing, continue to shower on a daily basis and wrap your head in tin foil.
The showering will fight of the ape degeneration gene from your body, while the tin foil will deflect any IQ point subtracting rays from your brain. You will make it out alive and there are lots of loving friends and family here to help you through recovery and rehabilitation.

Your friend Josh