Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A Makeover

In Paraguay, ordinary daily events, such as a trip to the Beauty Shop, often become extraordinary experiences.

"Look", they say,"don't you think she needs to have her eyebrows tattooed?"

This question is asked, not once, but over and over again. Each and every time I go to the beauty shop. As each new client enters, they are brought over to come and scrutinize my nearly invisible eyebrows, then they all notice that with out mascara my eye lashes are also transparent and I should just go ahead and get the eyeliner tattooed on as well.

Obviously, they are not familiar with many redheads! I think they assume I am a mutant and just never realized that everyone else on the planet has nice, thick eyebrows and lush eye lashes.

The owners of the shop, a husband and wife, are very sweet and happen to attend one of the churches we are working in. This means the conversation gets carried over to the congregation. No client/ hair dresser privacy privileges here in Paraguay, it seems.

And as it would be, the wife has had all her make up permanently tattooed on ,

and...drum roll...

she does the tattoos for others! She wants to do my eyes. I tell her I can't spend that kind of money on such a thing, but now

... drum roll...

she tells me she will do it all for only '25 American dollars'!

She informs me of this offer in front of the entire shop. They are all so very happy for me! Now I can afford to get eyebrows and lashes! I no longer will go through life as a mutant and can join the human race,if I only submit to the tattoos!.


Now what? I imagine my fair, freckled face covered with garish Cleopatra like eyebrows and eyeliner!

What do I say????

The entire shop, employees as well as clients, are awaiting my decision...

I look around the room for inspiration.... help eludes me. My brain is stuck on one thing. Do you remember how as children we would swear to tell the truth, "So help me God!' or "Stick a needle in my eye!"?

"Its cheap" some tell me. "You must do it" say others. I want to cry... but then my eye makeup would run and they would see that I really don't have much in the way of eyebrows and lashes.

She then offers the coup de grace, she announces that she has decided that she will also do my lips! She has decided that not only will I have tattooed eyebrows and eyeliner, I will also have permanent tattooed lip liner. Her gift!

My mind conceives of one image, and one image alone!

Is this the to be the look of a new and improved Jungle Mom????


me thinks, NOT!


Pam--in America said...

Oh my! LOL

MightyMom said...


run woman run for your eyes!!!!

throw some holy water behind you and hide in the nearest tavern!!!

I knew a girl who had "permanent makeup" it looked nice.....then I found out that she'd gotten infections IN HER EYE LIDS!! can you even imagine????

and you know your eyelids have to be closed while they tattoo them.......you gonna sit still while someone attacks your eyeballs over and over with needles???

(and NinjaNurse must also mention that tattoos are still terribly prone to spreading hep C)

Betty W said...

Don´t do it!! Be strong!

Urraca said...

LOL, I haven't had a good laugh this week yet!!! Good picture. IMHO please say NO!! She is very kind but tell her something she cannont do anything about like your age (sorry), hubby does not agree. I would never do that myself. (I hope). Take care, Love, S

J.H said...

haha, so did you say "yes" at the end??? If yes, post some more picture please :-)

Mrs. Happy Housewife said...

I know how overwhelmed you must feel. Having married into a Puerto Rican family, I have experiences such as this (though not about tatooed makeup). I have found it best among Hispanic women to put all the blame on my husband. "My husband has forbid it." "My husband prefers this." "My husband does not want me to change this." Then, I smile politely and try to change the subject. Not that that works, but I try. :)

CKHB said...

Goodness, is it really so inconceivable that you might LIKE your own natural coloring? Redheads unite!

Glenn B said...

Oh go ahead - go for it you only live once!

Now on the serious side: Egads that is hideous.

Kristen Torres-Toro said...

HAHA! I'd run for my life!

Maybe I could say something about my husband not wanting me to get a tattoo (this would only work if you don't have any others that are visible and they know about).

redneck preacher said...

My husband says he really likes my face just as it is so that is what I am going to go with.

I live in California and have seen some REALLY bad permanent jobs. Maybe your friend can give me some hair on top

2 Kings 2:23

Barbara H. said...

Sure makes it hard to know how to decline what to her seems like such a generous offer. I don't know if "other people look like this in my country and it's ok" would work.

I've only seen one person with tattooed eyeliner, and it looked way overdone. She was on a makeover show and they were trying to show her how to use makeup to tone it down.

But having any tattoo done, especially in another country -- makes me shudder. Hope she won't be offended by your declining.

Michelle said...

Oh my!!!!!!

So what did you do? How did you extract yourself from the tattoo artist?

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...


It's very kind of her, it really is. What a situation!! What did you do??

m-cde said...

Great story - We laughed so much at the picture!!!
Way to get out of anything here is you say - "mmmm I'll think about it."
and then you do (SP) ñymbatavwu !
(Guarani for pretending you dont understand!)
PS - You are still young !

LadyFi said...

Oh no.. please don't do it!

Jody Hedlund said...

HILARIOUS!!!! I'm cracking up here! So, what did you tell her? You left us hanging!

Rita Loca said...

Pam, easy for you to laugh!

MM, Don;t worry, no plans on letting needles be stuck in my eye.

Betty, I'll be strong!

Urraca, I keep putting her off and intend to keep on doing so.

J.H., NO!!!! I have not said yes!

Happy Wife, much better to blame the hubby in this culture and it all be true!!!

Rita Loca said...

CKHB, Spoken like Pippi!

Glenn, I dont think I will. the needles scare me!

Kristen, No no visible or invisible tattoos on me!

Redneck Preacher, that is what my husband happens to say!

Barbara, I've seen a lot of latinas with it done and it is not so bad, but on fair skin???? I dont think so!

Rita Loca said...

Michelle, I yell her I am still thinking about it!

Mrs. C. NO! I didn't do it!

Mrs. C, nothing yet!

M de CDE, ñymbatavwu Good advice!

Lady Fi1, Oh I wont let needles be stuck in my eye!

Jody, Glad to make you laugh. I told her I was still thinking about it.

Kathy said...

Oh man! The things that happen to you! :) I don't think I'll go to the hairdresser while we're in P.--I can only imagine what they'd say about me! :)

Webutante said...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Please keep your idea in tact and not hers!! Wild story!

Christie said...

I went to the hairdresser today for a root touch-up and got similar treatment. The hairdresser always holds my hair out from my head and sayd something like, "Have you ever seen anything like this," and proceeds to go over the basic differences in my curly, fine hair, and the basic Latina curls. They all gather around and give me the "poor gal" look, and I make the sad eyes and go with something like, "Yeah, it's a cross I bear..." :) The plus is that I don't get offered extensions, because they don't have any hair to match mine. HAHA! Gotta love the Paraguayan beauty shop...

PS--I finally found a gal like yours, though, who does the maximum head massage, and I'm hooked!!!

Brenda said...

I love those public beauty shop conversations. They are so funny. I hope you survived all that peer pressure!

The Local Malcontent said...

You cannot do this, JMom

Rita Loca said...

Kathy, We should go together!

Web, no problem I swear!

Christie, AW! Those head massages are awesome!

Brenda, I really enjoy it all, you know. Yes, I still have invisible eyebrows and transparent eyelashes. I'm sure you can relate to my coveting the beautiful thick Paraguayan eyebrows!

LCM, NO, I can't! The needles alone would guarantee this never to happen!