Friday, May 22, 2009

You (or your Parents) might be a Missionary if...

1. You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?"
( Is this a multiple choice answer?)

2. You speak two languages, but can't spell in either.
( sadly very true, es verdad!)

3. You read National Geographic and recognize someone.
( Hopefully not myself! I showed up in Google once labeled as a Yanomami witch doctor!)

4. You have a time zone map next to your telephone.
(I can never remember if Venezuela is 1/2 hour ahead or behind. Thanks to HHH's private time zone!)

5. You consider a city 500 km away to be "very close".
(It's not?)

6. You watch nature documentaries, and think about how good that animal would taste if it were fried.
(Oh yes! PETA loves me! I have eaten alligator, worms, grubs, parrots, rodents, danto, and monkey)

7. You can cut grass with a machete, but can't start a lawnmower.
( Used to anyway)

8. You speak with authority on the subject of airline travel.
( It's terrible)

9. You have friends from, or in, 29 different countries.
(At least)

10. You do your devotions in another language.
(or two)

11. You sort your friends by continent.
(And a few islands as well)

12. You realize that furlough is not a vacation.
( hardly!)

13. You know how to pack.
( I stay packed)

14. Fitting 15 or more people into a car seems normal to you.
( Have done so in an Isuzu Trooper MANY times!)

15. You refer to gravel roads as highways.
( Well YEAH!)

16. You haggle with the checkout girl for a lower price.
(What? You're not supposed to???)

17. You don't think that two hours is a long sermon.
(Just getting started.)

18. You have a name in at least two different languages, and it's not the same one.
(I do! I even have an internet name!)

19. You feel you need to move after you've lived in the same place for a month.
( more like every two years for me)

20. You cruise the Internet looking for fonts that support your "native" language's alphabet.
(Spanish is easy, Ye'kwana? Not so much!)

I am sure many of these apply to other ex-pats and not only Missionaries. Can you add a few of your own to the list?

UPDATE: Make sure and read the comments for some great additions to the list!


Pam said...

Like the list! I'm not a missionary but know many, so I can relate to a few items on your list.

Sarah Joy said...

I can identify with 1,2,9, 10,11, 12-17. We fit twenty-three people in our seven passenger van once. I'll have to say that #6 comes more from my dad than being a missionary.

How about when you come to the USA and are constantly forgetting common words in English? People look at you funny.

Findalis said...

Actually the answer to Question 1 is the easiest: We all come from the loving arms of God, and will return to said loving arms after a long, fruitful life.

Rosie Cochran said...

While on furlough your younger children "amaze" people by running into glass doors (what are those?!) and trying to reenter buildings through one way doors!

While on furlough you've convinced your children that the van is "home"!

You come home one day to find the poor fish in the fish tank grew too big, became too much of a temptation, and your husband and sons cooked him up and ate him!

Brenda said...

I have 4 times zones on my google home page and it comes in really handy!

You stay packed??? How do you manage that? I feel unsettled until every item is out of my suitcase :)

Tammy said...

How about...

When questioned by U.S. Customs whether you have brought any animals across the border, you say "Only amoebas."

When you think of the Marketplace, you are not thinking a Winn-Dixie grocery store.

Your children balance things on their heads to carry them.

:o) Fun post!

Tammy said...

Oh yeah! One more...

You've taken your family car places that a Hummer has only dreamed of going!

Betty said...

Great list! So many are true for me too.
I´ll add one.
- you "think" in one language and speak in another.
or two....
- you dream about having your family all in one place for longer than a vacation!

Thursday's Child said...


Anonymous said...

I'm going to share this with my wife and my mother in law. Coming from their missionary background, I'm sure they'll really enjoy it.

Strange family for an atheist to marry into, now that I think about it.

redneck preacher said...

This is always a cultural treat.


Z said...

#3 about put me over the edge.
JM, you MUST tell me WHO WROTE THESE?? are NOT an atheist, you just think you are! (smile)

Jungle Mom said...

Hermit, Oh I think God has special plans for you putting you in such a family, huh?

The Local Malcontent said...

hi my name is dillon i am rons best friend ron showed me your blog

Joy said...

Wow! This is a list definitely made from experience. One I can't add to at all. I'm amazed and think you all are incredible.


Anonymous said...

Half of these are true about Mingo and Wyoming co. in WV.

D.A. Brosius said...

Your name ¨Deborah¨ D├ębora become ¨vibora¨ (snake) or ¨Devora¨ (devours).
Your husband´s name Dana is only a girl´s name, so MUST be my name,too.
Your kids wash all the pages of the lettuce and touch the piano. (Spanish speakers will understand.)

Becky Aguirre said...

Awesome list! Gave me some good laughs! :) I relate to most of time we were watching NatGeo channel and recognized people Miguel knows from!

Daniel said...

Just wondering where in Paraguay you live?? I lived there from 1971 to 1981.

Daniel said...

I lived in Paraguay from 1971 - 1981!!